mommy!

gus is growing more and more impatient. he gets that from me, of course. something is off with me, i admit it...perhaps it's my thyroid or perhaps i am pretending i like the holidays. funny how for the past three years i get like this mid-november. i think it's my deep desire to forget everything commercial and hunker down with my babies instead of the overwhelming spree of crap...............in spite of this i still went overboard with the boys on (natural) toys. however, adults are a different story. really, it's all token gifts anyways. what's the point? i'm not donating again after the groans i got last year. sheesh.
soooo....my point is all day was ALL WRONG and i didn't want anything to eat, my coffee didn't taste good, i didn't want to do laundry or go get groceries or anything. it was one of those days where you plow on through until bedtime. i plowed. i got the boys bathed and realized it was 615, definitely not bedtime yet. sigh. gus threw a fit because i wouldn't let him turn on tv yet (only while i rock hudson to sleep) so i offered a list of things to do, and one was 'play cars.' well in his tantrum voice i couldn't understand him and it sounded like he was yelling "BECAUSE!" and getting more and more frustrated with me. i felt bad, but i didn't know what he was talking about until he went in his room, sniffling and got his cars out and started to play by himself. boo. i felt terrible. i continued to feel terrible because i couldn't keep my eyes open to play cars. i had my head in my hands and started to driiiifffftttt oooooofffff
and i hear "MOMMY! NO CRY?" i looked up so he could see i wasn't crying.
"MOMMY! NO SLEEP! PLAY CARS!" ugh. my son the drill sergeant.