reluctant but nearly desperate.

i am looking for support, so if you're reading this, a thought or good vibes would be appreciated. i am being suffocated by anxiety about staying afloat in this economy. i wish i could say that i'm counting my blessings and trusting that it will all work out ok, but i am terrified. this is affecting every area of my life, and i'm starting to "not enjoy doing things (i) used to." what pulled me out of this last time was changing my eating habits, and jj reminded me of that, so we are slowly going in that direction. i have a tendency to go overboard so we are taking it slowly, and there are things i cannot do because i am nursing and i don't want to jeopardize my supply of milk for hudson. this has been in the works for a while but i am finally commited to it because i want to feel better and be a better mom, and this will only happen if i take care of myself. it's so nice to have a partner to go through it with. however, he is in it to win it, and wants to weigh himself all the time, while i have banned scales from our home since we met. so, now you know, and i am having my water, grilled chicken, and veggies, with a little cheese and pasta for hudson too.