empty time

with kids in bed early i am forcing myself to sit. i think about the books i want to read as soon as they fall asleep, not in the morning when i could go to the library and actually get them. therefore, i have started watching movies. one yesterday and two today equals way more time in front of the tv solid than i've spent in a long time. i just sat there, no folding diapers or drawing or anything else. i'm lonely so it was nice to have the noise. in addition, what i watched was meatier than cnn, or that stupid child factory show on tlc, so i feel like i came away with 'something' other than filling time. i'm starting to come out of the baby haze and i miss my real life (whatever that means.)
we went on a drive to see the fall colors in the river valley. the boys slept. it was magnificent.