loose ends

ever since my bank "career" was cut short abruptly on sept. 12 last year i have felt weird about not keeping in touch with the people i worked with. we were so close, and the bank was a very comfortable place to work, almost cozy. i really really enjoyed my job there and i always had this feeling in the back of my mind to enjoy it while it lasted because i wouldn't be there long. well wouldn't you know...
but since i left i really missed that part of my life. it wasn't just that i was at work, or even what i was doing while at work as that part is kind of boring. apy vs apr etc etc etc so i was sooooo happy to hear from kelli. i felt like they all hated me for leaving because i knew i caused stress with my absence, like i did it on purpose. i still feel bad about that because my job is open but i can't go back. being put on bedrest so early was awful. it was so so hard. all i did every single day was sit/lay on the internet alone. if i tried to organize pics or do anything i had contractions and the constant worry was draining. i had lots of company but it was very hard. i wanted to do things for anna when her baby was born and i just laid on that bed. i had to quit listening to country music because it reminded me of work. i even continued to eat my lunch at 11am like before. it SUCKED and i hope i can get a cerclage early next time so i can avoid 20 weeks of bedrest. if i had known it would have been that long i would have planned better.
since we went up to the bank to say hi i feel much better. it was so nice to see smiling faces. it was like tying up loose ends. kind of like closure on an exboyfriend, to use an analogy from way back when.