crash n burn

i was feeling very combative today. i'm frustrated by a lot of things, stupid things, like gus peeing through his diapers. i'm going to try a few different ones and if they work i'll sell the others. also, gus had a major tantrum tonight when he woke up from his nap. using my newfound knowledge i let it happen, i sat there with him and when he asked for juice i gave him juice and he threw it on the floor, over and over and over....it was hard. what solved the problem after an entire half hour was that he wanted his shirt on to eat dinner. if he could say shirt that would have been avoided. he was a total angel the rest of the night, giggling and hugging. maybe i did what i was supposed to. maybe he was 'full' and needed to release it. i do that. daily, in one form or another, i have a moment. when he thought i wasn't looking he went up to h in the swing and kissed him on the head. seeing things like that make my heart swell.
i took them to the fancy kroger because we were out of healthy stuff. i dont care what it costs they need to eat healthy food. it is worth it. they can wear target clothes and garage sale clothes and play with garage sale toys. none of that is harmful, but eating crap is very harmful. of course they won't remember that or thank me some day when they recall the coveted pair of designer jeans i wouldn't buy because i spent the budget at whole foods (!!!) but i know in my heart it is the right thing to do. we got a lot of stuff and two water bottles that were 5$ a piece. i need one for when i walk. jj needs one because he works in a sauna.