but i'm lonely and this is kinda like talking to someone. how pathetic. finally made it to see a dr today. she felt my neck and said, "wow." I said, "is it enlarged?" she said, "very. i'm feeling your giant thyroid." AWESOME. so here come the tests again starting thursday. i will be getting a dna test done then, too. the outcome of that will determine our reproductive future. none of the other stuff bothers me too much, but it's always in the back of my mind that i could have cancer or have it removed and that freaks me out. someday soon i will feel better. i've felt like crap for months but since i was taking my synthroid like a good little girl i thought i was just nuts. not so.
my kids deserve a better mom. it really sucks that i have little control over the chemical workings of my body. different things have an effect, like the b complex and other things i take, but in the end it's a losing battle. no amount of yoga helps. it's such a common problem that i never take it seriously but it is serious enough to screw up every single part of me down to my nails. i have read that malnutrition (read:anorexia) in adolescence can cause thyroid issues, so consider me ms poster child/person. it's not worth it.
on a happier note, the handmade birthday projects are almost complete. i'll post pics this week when then are done.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
I struggled with an eating disorder from about 13 - well present.... (I really began gaining better control around age 20) and my body is so jacked up it is not even funny... I wish I could have told my 13 year old self that it is not worth not being able to have children just to look skinny. I developed PCOS and my doctors have likened it to malnutrition in my younger years. I also have extreme nuero imbalances due to this as well.... The sad thing is I think even if someone had told me what I was doing to my body I would not have cared back then, do you ever feel like that?
I don't know, but probably...I didnt' care about being so pale I was transparent, my hair falling out, my blue hands from being cold, passing out in PE, etc so I bet I would have shrugged it off. Until recently I thought it wasn't a big deal since all I had to do was take a pill and it'd all be ok! If it was only that easy...
:(
That sucks, if you need anything, let me know!
Post a Comment