jealousy

i am naturally a jealous person; i struggle with that. i like to put a positive spin on it and use that "flaw" to try new things and better myself in the process. it's a good way to work out the bad part of jealousy. anyhoo, it's no surprise to me that august is showing some insane jealousy toward hudson. it's classic: as soon as i sit down to nurse, he needs apple juice. if Baby H is rolling around on the floor, gus must sit on him. or lay on him. or hit him. if i am not watching him like a hawk, then the hitting starts. i've seen him do it and i can totally read him: no impulse control, what happens if i smack his bald little head? mom will come right over i bet. smack. wow lots of attention from mom.
it drives me to yell sometimes because i am across the room and hudson is in pain. i have to comfort him immediately, and sometimes august has completely moved onto something else, so when i discipline him he doesn't know what i'm talking about. the yelling is just to get his attention to STOP right away. i try really hard to keep it at that. i usually do a time in if he is hitting. we make amends by kissing boo boos and talk about not hitting. if i see gus paying too much attention to hudson or i need to leave the room i redirect him and give him something else to focus on for a minute.

this is all basic toddler stuff. i am a fish out of water though. my instinct is to yell, time out alone in room, etc but that is not the route we are taking with our boys. it is so weird to redirect and discipline age appropriately. the comments from the peanut gallery don't help, either. i'm taking it with a grain of salt. i'm not asking for advice, nor am i complaining about this issue. it keeps me very very busy and is very frustrating. it is part of my life right now and i thought i'd share. positive discipline is a good thing for us. it is different and new and inspiring. it has even changed the way jeremy and i work as a couple.