away but here

it's so disorienting to be here, in town, but feel like it's an entirely different place. i felt that last night when we took the kids on a cool evening walk on grandview drive. it wasn't a little stroll, either. we did most of the drive so it took over an hour. so worth it...hudson slept and gus collected sticks and seeds. we met some people, i took a group photo for tourists...hence the far away feeling. it reminded me of when i was going to yale when bryan took me up to his parents' cabin outside of avon so we could watch the sunset high on the bluff. they were very wealthy but very normal people. their cat peed in the toilet, no joke. when i used the restroom i noticed the smell of cat pee and later on when he told me the cat used the toilet ala snowball from meet the parents it made sense.
hudson just took a half hour to fall asleep for his nap and gripped my hand tightly the whole time he was nursing. i absolutlely love nursing him to sleep. the people who tell me i am wrong for doing that have no clue how much i cherish that time with him. i rocked gus to sleep and sang to him for our special time. again, i only stopped because my pregnant belly got too big for him to sit on my lap. i still do occasionally if he will sit still.